An Unexpected Pause

Photo by Steven Mosborg, Mpls

I had been working on a blog about the unraveling of shared values in our country. It was about how we boomers grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in grade school, and how the meaning of those words pose a struggle today. 

And then - all of those thoughts were blown away when a dear friend got a tough diagnosis last week. 

I’ve known this friend since my late teens and she has always been one of those souls that remain deeply connected despite the distance of miles and the heavy-lifting  years of early career building and child rearing. So when a persistent headache was found not to be the result of a sinus infection but of a brain tumor, well, all other thought was pushed aside. 

As I’ve learned in the past two years, most diagnoses come after enough friends tell you that what you’re experiencing just isn’t normal or OK. 

She didn’t listen to her husband. We never do, do we? But after her third friend told her she just wasn’t OK, she finally agreed to have a scan just to rule out anything serious. The scan failed to do that, leading to an MRI for more definition. 

And there it was. A brain tumor that had the potential to be a glioblastoma. 
Suddenly - perspectives change. And for her friends, the job was clear.  

Rather than worry with her, we dug deep for the powers of hope and of appealing to higher powers all along the spectrum of belief. This world of ours does deliver miracles, and that’s where we focused. We stopped thinking about what was happening nationally or globally - and focused on what we could anticipate would be helpful for her journey. 

She, on the other hand, tapped into her consistently organized skill set to plan for what she knew and didn’t know was in her future. First things first, she scheduled a manicure and eyebrow wax - it’s important to look good before surgery. She has friends on tab if she needs in-home help. She has her children lined up to be there when she needs them, and made plans for as much as could be known for life post surgery. 

And this week, she had her surgery while her friends around the country experienced a sort of virtual waiting room for updates about outcomes and prognosis. As we waited, we shared stories of memories of exploits with her that were nourishing in their own way. 

The good news is that her brain surgeon is sure he got 99% of the tumor out, and she has all her neurological function in place, including her sense of humor.  She was so engaging with the nurses and staff in the recovery room, she’s sorry she didn’t have her business cards to secure a couple decorating jobs before she was discharged. And she’s already working on new trendy hair styles for whatever follow up treatments will be needed.

I think I’ll exhale for the weekend. The issues of the day can wait while we relish a good medical outcome thanks to science and research that delivers progress for healthcare.